Friday 12 April 2013

a bucket full of tears...

2013 through us my family a curve ball back in January, when my only brother passed away.

what passed through my mind when my Mother called to tell me he had gone to be with his Lord? 

- this is surreal
- I've seen him close to death many times before
- now he has actually gone!!
- I have to see him to believe he isn't here anymore
- I'd been expecting this phone call from Mum for the last 15yrs
- it still hurt to know he had gone
 (regardless of the fact he had lived his life with a heart condition which was deemed in-operable at birth).

I've lost all my grandparents, but to loss someone so close to you feels like your heart has been ripped out, trampled, and it's hard to breath.

But the other thing that grieving does to a family is it brings the remaining members closer together.
You embrace each other like never before, you share stories of memories you hold, then you laugh and cry at once and that is perfectly normal.
You become more aware that every day is a blessing, to bless others, and to embrace those closest to you to say you love them.  
 It reminds you that those fickle family frauds, are they really worth the divide between loved ones. 

Since my brother's funeral I've been to 3 more funerals, none of which have been easy, but I was blessed to have had nearly 30yrs with my brother, where other's have only had 4 days with their loved one.  Needless to say I've shed a bucketful of tears in the last 2 1/2mths, and I've learnt a lot by letting them stream down my face.

So tonight/today reach out to those closest to you and tell them you love them immensely.

xx




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